(You can blame Ashley for this…)
Tell me what comes to mind when you hear these words: Valentine’s Day. Hope, money, dinner, love, flowers, candy, loneliness, depression, rejection, fear?
Why is it that this holiday has the ability to bring so many different feelings to so many different people? As women, it is expected of us to have “someone” to spend it with. Moreover, people feel the need to openly ask why we don’t. This is preposterous to me! We select one day in which a person that loves us is to prove their love in public by making reservations at the right restaurant and showering us with public displays of affection? Are you serious?!
I’ve seen a great many women, unhappy and miserable in their marriages receive flowers on this day. These flowers were sent after much nagging and prodding by an uninterested husband who is equally unhappy. Yet I am supposed to feel bad? Why? Because I’m not miserable? Because I have no one to nag into sending me flowers? Because I prefer to not be delusional about the state of my relationship?
I don’t think so! And before you go around guessing: I have a wonderful caring man in my life. He shows me he loves me in many ways and has been known to send me flowers on dates such as December 13th (which is of no significant value in our love calendar). He tells me he loves me every day and every day I believe him. On February 14th of last year I had my first really nice Valentine ’s Day thanks to him. You know why? Because I gave up trying to live up to some expectation. Gave up thinking that my life had to look like a Hallmark card. A long time ago I realized this “holiday” was a gimmick and I decided to tell everyone that I care for how I felt for them. Because inevitably someone messes up somewhere during this day. The wrong flowers are sent, the chocolate has nuts and you’re allergic, the reservations were lost! Yet what do we tell everyone the next day? How wonderful it was and how special we felt! Delusional.
If you are not in a relationship, this is just another day. If you love people, share that love with them (and not just on 2/14)! It does not have to be someone from the opposite sex. I’ve been known to make candy bags and cards for the people I work with and to send cards of love to my friends near and far.
If this day is about love then it shouldn’t be about who sent you flowers or offered up his/her heart. It should be about reminding all of the people you love that they are special to you and secretly promising them that you’ll be sure to show them the other 364 days of the year.