I Still Remember

Almost a year has gone by
Since we were blessed with your presence
Yet we know because of you
What life means, at its essence

I still remember…
The picture of you in the womb
The happiness I felt when I heard existed
The love instantaneous and pure
The heartstrings that pulled and insisted

I still remember…
The appointments and updates
The tiredness and the cravings
The excitement in the air
The planning and the savings

I still remember…
The news of your early arrival
The prayers that went up in your name
The knowledge of the path before you
The feeling things wouldn’t be the same

I still remember…
The drive I took down to see you
And telling myself you’d be fine
Comforting your mom as I could
The feeling that you’re also mine

I still remember…
Washing my hands and preparing
To walk in to see your cocoon
Smiling and praying at the same time
Thinking of the book Goodnight Moon

I still remember…
On that last day a week after your birth
Being blessed to touch your little thigh
Then the feeling of guilt that I’d touched you
And saying goodbye with a sigh

I still remember…
My heart sinking low in rejection
Of hearing that you’d gone from us
No big call, no hoopla, no fighting
You’d left without making a fuss

I still remember…
Your head full of hair
The look on your face
The feel of your skin
The blessings and grace

The smirk that was captured
The soul that I saw
The perfection within
No mishap, no flaw

The heartbreaker embodied
The truth that you brought
As little as you were
You breathed and you fought

The fact that you died
So your sister could thrive
I feel you’re the reason
That she will survive

The love that you brought us
The pain that we feel
The tears I still shed
And don’t care to conceal

I still feel your presence
My sweet little boy
Through the pain in my heart
I vow to feel joy

I will always remember
I will never forget
My dearest Antonio
I am blessed that we met

© 2009